Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!

Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?

The Invisible Man, who said to his wife, I don't care if it looks silly, don't stop! Never got a dinner!

George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.

John Wilkes Booth, who said, Sorry, I thought he was a critic. Never got a dinner!

Moses, who said to the Israelites, Stop calling me Charlton! Never got a dinner!

Christopher Columbus, who said to Queen Isabella, No, you got it wrong! The world is round. You're flat! Never got a dinner!