Moses, who said to the Israelites, Stop calling me Charlton! Never got a dinner!

Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!

Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner!

Ben Hur, who said to his sister Ben Him, We'd better swap names before they start calling me Ben Gay! Never got a dinner!

Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner!

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs - you got more broads? Never got a dinner!