Pope John Paul II's press secretary, who said, See, if only the Pope were Italian, he woulda shot back! Never got a dinner!

Ninety isn't old. You're old when your doctor doesn't X-ray you any more - he just holds you up to the light!

Lot, who said to his wife as she was being turned into a pillar of salt, Stop shaking! Never got a dinner!

George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!

Sophia Loren, whose new baby asked her, Is all that for me? Never got a dinner!

Ray Charles, who said to Stevie Wonder, Maybe we're white. Never got a dinner!

If I lose show business - I'll really be an orphan!