Moses, who said when the Red Sea parted, What the hell was that? I was just going in for a dip! Never got a dinner!

Noah's wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It's your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner!

Sleeping Beauty, who said to Prince Charming, Are you sure all we did was kiss? Never got a dinner!

Pope John Paul II's press secretary, who said, See, if only the Pope were Italian, he woulda shot back! Never got a dinner!

George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.

Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, I will not live in a house with a Little John. Never got a dinner!

Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!