Crispus Attucks, who said, Don't shoot till you see the whites! Never got a dinner!

George Washington, who said to his father, Dad, if I never tell I lie, how am I ever gonna become President? Never got a dinner!

The Puerto Rican doctor, who wrote all his prescriptions with spray paint. Never got a dinner!

King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!

Michelangelo's girlfriend, who said to Angelo, Forget the paint - let's put a mirror on the ceiling. Never got a dinner!

George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.

Venus de Milo's mother, who once said to Venus, You never call me. Can't you pick up a phone? Never got a dinner!