Julius Caesar's wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner!

George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!

Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!

Goliath's mother, who said to Goliath, Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned! Never got a dinner!

Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner!

The captain of the Titanic, who said to room service, Who sent for all this ice? Never got a dinner!

Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!