Julius Caesar's wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner!

The Puerto Rican doctor, who wrote all his prescriptions with spray paint. Never got a dinner!

Long John Silver's wife, Short, who said to John, If the shoe fits... Never got a dinner!

Abraham Lincoln, who said, A house divided... is a condominium. Never got a dinner!

Adam, who said to Eve, What do you mean you have nothing to wear? Never got a dinner!

Clint Eastwood's sex therapist, who said to Clint, Do it any which way you can, but no sudden impact. Never got a dinner!

Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner!