Julius Caesar's wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner!

Stan Musial, who said, Why didn't they make me the first Polish pope? I was such a good Cardinal. Never got a dinner!

Joan Rivers, who said to Marcel Marceau, Can we talk? Never got a dinner!

Michelangelo's girlfriend, who said to Angelo, Forget the paint - let's put a mirror on the ceiling. Never got a dinner!

George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.

Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!

King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!