Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?"

John Wilkes Booth, who said, Sorry, I thought he was a critic. Never got a dinner!

Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!

Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time.

Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, Are you sure it's a chest cold? Never got a dinner!

Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, I will not live in a house with a Little John. Never got a dinner!

E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner!