Ben Hur, who said to his sister Ben Him, We'd better swap names before they start calling me Ben Gay! Never got a dinner!

Elizabeth Taylor has a big heart. She recently built a halfway house for girls who don't want to go all the way.

Ninety isn't old. You're old when your doctor doesn't X-ray you any more - he just holds you up to the light!

Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!

George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.

Peter Minuet, who said to the Indians in modern-day Manhattan, Will you accept a check from a Puerto Rican bank? Never got a dinner!

Alexander Graham Bell's wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, Your three minutes are up. Never got a dinner!