Michelangelo's girlfriend, who said to Angelo, Forget the paint - let's put a mirror on the ceiling. Never got a dinner!

Ninety isn't old. You're old when your doctor doesn't X-ray you any more - he just holds you up to the light!

Dean Martin's pancreas, who overheard his liver singing I got a right to sing the blues. Never got a dinner!

Pliny the Elder, who when Rome was burning requested Nero to play You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille. Never got a dinner!

Ben Hur, who said to his sister Ben Him, We'd better swap names before they start calling me Ben Gay! Never got a dinner!

Lot, who said to his wife as she was being turned into a pillar of salt, Stop shaking! Never got a dinner!

I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping.