Lot, who said to his wife as she was being turned into a pillar of salt, Stop shaking! Never got a dinner!

Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner!

Simon Peter, who embarrassed the other disciples at the Last Supper by asking for seconds. Never got a dinner!

Michelangelo's girlfriend, who said to Angelo, Forget the paint - let's put a mirror on the ceiling. Never got a dinner!

E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner!

John Travolta, who said, My Saturday night fever was nothing compared to my Sunday morning rash. Never got a dinner!

Ben Hur, who said to his sister Ben Him, We'd better swap names before they start calling me Ben Gay! Never got a dinner!