The captain of the Titanic, who said to room service, Who sent for all this ice? Never got a dinner!

Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner!

Pope John Paul II's press secretary, who said, See, if only the Pope were Italian, he woulda shot back! Never got a dinner!

Stan Musial, who said, Why didn't they make me the first Polish pope? I was such a good Cardinal. Never got a dinner!

Saint Christopher, who said, Where can I get a Frank Sinatra medal? Never got a dinner!

Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner!

Gandhi, who went to Wendy's and asked, "Where's the belief?" Never got a dinner!