Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, Are you sure it's a chest cold? Never got a dinner!

The captain of the Titanic, who said to room service, Who sent for all this ice? Never got a dinner!

Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!

Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs - you got more broads? Never got a dinner!

Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!

Steven Spielberg's mother, who said to E.T., I don't care where you're from, you're here and you're gonna get bar mitzvahed! Never got a dinner!

Dr. Spock, who said, Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never got a dinner!