Dean Martin's great-great-uncle, Ebenezer Martin, who said to Eli Whitney, I see the cotton, but where's the gin? Never got a dinner!

Joseph Cotten, who said, You know how I got my name? Sammy Davis picked it for me. Never got a dinner!

Venus de Milo's mother, who once said to Venus, You never call me. Can't you pick up a phone? Never got a dinner!

Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!

Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, I will not live in a house with a Little John. Never got a dinner!

Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?

Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner!