I feel sorry for people who don't drink or do drugs. Because someday they're going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won't know why.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. So I rushed out and bought me one.

Hey! Leave the door open will ya? The flies haven't been out all day.

It's some chopped liver. That's Jewish soul food.

Music played a large role in the survival of the black people in America — that and a sense of humor that just couldn't be enslaved.

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.