I feel sorry for people who don't drink or do drugs. Because someday they're going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won't know why.

Do you realize that if the pilgrims have been chasing bobcats instead of turkeys.. we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving?!

I ain't from Africa. I'm from St. Louis.

It's some chopped liver. That's Jewish soul food.

Sanford and Son is more than just a name. It's a condition, a dynasty, an empire. This here is the finest pile of junk of the world.

Certain things should be yours to have when you work your way to the top.

You make me wish that birth control was retroactive.