Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

Hey! Leave the door open will ya? The flies haven't been out all day.

The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch and it wouldn't remind you of anything.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink or do drugs. Because someday they're going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won't know why.

I'm a Sagittarian, see, I can't be fenced in. I been living in Las Vegas, greatest city in the world. I look out my window for 100 miles. In Vegas, there's nothing to do but gamble, drink or have sex. I have two of 'em.

A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part.