Good sportsmanship we hail, we sing, It's always pleasant when you spot it. There's only one unhappy thing: You have to lose to prove that you've got it.

They head the list of bad to bet on: But I insist they're worse to get on

There are very few humorists who have written first-rate humor after they've become elderly.

Each year it grows harder to make ends meet - the ends I refer to are hands and feet.

"Do you want my honest opinion?" People ask. I say, "Yes," for I'm curious. So they give me their honest opinion, And I - well, I'm always furious.

Libraries: Here is where people, one frequently finds, lower their voices, and raise their minds.

Shakespeare, who never could think up a plot by himself, found this one [Macbeth] in Holinshed's Chronicles, changing it just enough so that no one would recognize the source. He didn't count on the resourcefulness of modern scholars, who have to discover things like this to become associate professors.