I've suffered from all of the hang-ups known, and none is as bad as the telephone.

There is some consolation in the fact that, even though your dreams don't come true, neither do your nightmares.

Rockefeller made his money in oil, which he discovered at the bottom of wells. Oil was considered crude in those days, but so was Rockefeller. Now both are considered quite refined.

There are very few humorists who have written first-rate humor after they've become elderly.

Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.

Good sportsmanship we hail, we sing, It's always pleasant when you spot it. There's only one unhappy thing: You have to lose to prove that you've got it.

Retired is being tired twice, I've thought, first tired of working, then tired of not.