If you would have God hear you when you pray, you must hear him when he speaks.

I used to look down on the world for being corrupt, but now I adore it for the utter magnificence of that corruption.

The ghastly thing about postal strikes is that after they are over, the service returns to normal.

The man who is brutally honest enjoys the brutality quite as much as the honesty. Possibly more.

When money is seen as a solution for every problem, money itself becomes the problem.

People are like birds - from a distance, beautiful: from close up, those sharp beaks, those beady little eyes.

When a man tells me he's run out of steam in the sex department, I'll tell him, 'Count your blessings; you've escaped from the clutches of a cruel tyrant. Enjoy!