There is an obesity epidemic. One out of every three Americans... weighs as much as the other two.

If carrots are good for my eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?

If you're going to war over religion, now you're just getting into a fight over who has the better imaginary friend.

Why is human cloning illegal? All it is is making a certain type of person on purpose. Can they possibly be any worse than the assholes we're pumping out by accident?

Easiest job you could ever have... whoever gets to put Michael Jackson in a witness chair and create reasonable doubt.

Seventy-five percent of all Americans believe that angels are real. Which is amazing when you consider that forty percent of all Americans think DNA evidence is unreliable.

You should never die for your beliefs, because what if you're wrong?