You should never die for your beliefs, because what if you're wrong?

Lobsters one of the only animals that have to put up with being alive in the restaurant. If you go to a steakhouse, folks - no cow tank.

Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75. Walked back out in the street - genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.

We would need less gun control if we had better birth control.

There is no romance without some lying. That's what romance is - a little bit of Vaseline on the camera lens of life.

The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

Success is made up of courage, brains, and luck. Since the first two are a function of the third, it's pretty much all luck.