Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered whey they die but they're not getting up early on a Sunday.

In the United States economic system you can lose big or you can win big. If you lose you wind up wearing a Hefty bag and sleeping in a doorway. If you win you can have sex with Catherine Zeta Jones when you're seventy-five.

I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'

Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered whey they die but they're not getting up early on a Sunday.

If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.

In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.

Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower.