Michael Jackson is what happens when you keep fixin' it until it's broke!

Success is made up of courage, brains, and luck. Since the first two are a function of the third, it's pretty much all luck.

The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

I met a girl, we ate, we drank, had sex, got married, had affairs, broke up - God, what a night that was!

The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?

In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.

Ridiculous that some people feel superior to the gay minority. They're the only couples you'll ever find poking around for ceramics and candle holders in the winery gift shop and both parties really want to be there.