If carrots are good for my eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?

Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower.

Brooklyn is the only place where a guy can open up a candy store sell no candy and gross over eight million dollars a year.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

If you're going to war over religion, now you're just getting into a fight over who has the better imaginary friend.

We spend the second half of our life making up for the first half.

I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'