The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

I'm catholic in the same way, that if a cow was born in a tree, it's a bird!

To me, the acceptable level of fecal matter is... zero.

You know what the average person is? Average.

There is no romance without some lying. That's what romance is - a little bit of Vaseline on the camera lens of life.

Nobody is really qualified to be the president. Basically it's an acting job. You have to act like you're the president. And every four years the country holds a big casting call.

The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.