The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

Never fry bacon when you're naked.

The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?

Nobody is really qualified to be the president. Basically it's an acting job. You have to act like you're the president. And every four years the country holds a big casting call.

Easiest job you could ever have... whoever gets to put Michael Jackson in a witness chair and create reasonable doubt.

There is no romance without some lying. That's what romance is - a little bit of Vaseline on the camera lens of life.

It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!