The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

Fifty per cent of all marriages end in divorce. But look at the bright side: the other 50 per cent end in death.

In the United States economic system you can lose big or you can win big. If you lose you wind up wearing a Hefty bag and sleeping in a doorway. If you win you can have sex with Catherine Zeta Jones when you're seventy-five.

Religious war at its simplest is killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

That's why you have to like a guy like Charles Manson. Say what you will about Manson - he's one of the only people with the decency to look like a dangerous maniac the first time you meet him.

When one guy sees an invisible man he's a nut case; ten people see him it's a cult; ten million people see him it's a respected religion.