It's a privilege to be in such a great category of people and... I don't believe in God, so I'd like to thank dogs. Dogs have given me everything.

I remember one review of The Office Christmas Special that compared it unfavourably to Dickens. What? You're saying I'm not as good as the greatest storyteller ever. Boo! Boo! I think I can live with that.

It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast.

I remember the first check I got for 'The Office,' and it made me feel sad. It ruined it. ... Because there was sort of a nobility in poverty.

Thank you God for making me an atheist.

Try something. And never be afraid to fail. That failure is useful too. It's just another building block.

Same-sex marriage is not a gay privilege, it's equal rights.