It's a privilege to be in such a great category of people and... I don't believe in God, so I'd like to thank dogs. Dogs have given me everything.

It’s a strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for. It’s the opposite. We have nothing to die for. We have everything to live for.

Do this or you’ll burn in hell.

The service in L.A. is the best. You don't get sarcastic, surly, fed-up waiters and waitresses like you do in England. They're good at their job and they're there for the customer. The only depressing thing is a lot of them have written more screenplays than me.

Of all the disciplines involved in making anything - TV, film or anything I do - the writing is the most valuable commodity.

It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast.

I never think of myself as a celebrity - or even an actor, actually. I think of myself as a writer-director.