It’s a strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for. It’s the opposite. We have nothing to die for. We have everything to live for.

A joke isn't yours. It's used and you don't know where it's been.

Some [people] are really smart. You know who you are. Some [people] are really thick. Unfortunately, you don't know who you are.

I remember one review of The Office Christmas Special that compared it unfavourably to Dickens. What? You're saying I'm not as good as the greatest storyteller ever. Boo! Boo! I think I can live with that.

Popularity and democracy aren't a judge, they're just stats.

It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast.

I use people's real voices because I want realism. So often I mention the actors' physicality because I want it to be like a real documentary.