Remember, no one can hurt your feelings without your permission

Do this or you’ll burn in hell.

Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right. Some people are offended by mixed marriage, gay people, atheism. So what? F*** 'em.

Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.

You now have the least amount of time you've ever had, to do everything you've ever wanted to do. Enjoy your life. You only get one

I can't stand it. I can't stand someone being embarrassed. I don't know why. If someone slips over and the first thing they do is look around, I pretend I haven't seen it.

Your God is the best God. In fact, he's the only God. All other Gods are ridiculous, made up rubbish. Not yours though. Yours is real.