If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

We want to see a struggle. We want to see people falling over but getting themselves back up on their feet, and that's what's extraordinary- ordinary people and their struggle. There's nothing as interesting as real life out your window. You walk down the street for half an hour, I'll give you half an hour of drama.

It's better to create something that others criticise than to create nothing and criticise others. Go create, have fun!!

Celebrities, make it harder for hackers to get nude pics of you from your computer by not putting nude pics of yourself on the computer.

I like big escapist films. It's odd because the type of comedian I am and the things I do when I'm writing and directing myself usually deal with the darker side of the human psyche and excruciating social faux pas. I often deal in taboos and the subjects I do as a stand-up are quite challenging. But my film roles have been much more fun and escapist.

Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.

I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens.