If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

I remember the first check I got for 'The Office,' and it made me feel sad. It ruined it. ... Because there was sort of a nobility in poverty.

It's better to create something that others criticise than to create nothing and criticise others. Go create, have fun!!

Life is just a series of peaks and troughs. And you don't know whether you're in a trough until you're climbing out, or on a peak until you're coming down. And that's it you know, you never know what's round the corner. But it's all good. "If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain." Do you know which "philosopher" said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of tits.

Thank you God for making me an atheist.

I've got the attention span of a child.

I don't think humans are meant to be looked at when we're buying pants.