I've got three friends that you'd call famous, but I'm sure after 20 years, most of my friends will be famous or work in television, because that's the nature of what your work is. When I was working in an office, most of my friends worked in offices.

Take a picture not a trophy This is how real men shoot animals

The only reason I work out is so I can eat more cheese.

Everyday life is interesting enough, whether it be in an office or being ignored on the set of something supposedly more glamorous.

I fought a bear once. But it started crying, so I let it off.

She said, 'I'm your biggest fan,' and I said, 'Who are you?' She said, 'Paris Hilton.'

Next time someone tells me they believe in God, I'll say 'Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?...' If they say 'Just God. I only believe in the one God,' I'll point out that they are nearly as atheistic as me. I don't believe in 2,870 gods, and they don't believe in 2,869.