Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming!

I think the best advice I'd say to any actor when you do comedy is play it straight.

People have let me down in the past. I've loved something, and it's become a disgrace. I'd rather start again.

Just looking at all the faces here reminds me of some of the great work that was done this year . . . by cosmetic surgeons.

The next time someone is critical of you, just take a moment to consider their life. Then smile to yourself.

I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.

I don't think a comedian should even be concerned with being cool or sexy, as soon as you do, you aren't a comedian any more. Looks are still the most important thing for women when it comes to meeting a partner. And that's fair enough, but a sense of humour is really important too. For starters, it's a great indicator of whether you are going to get on. If the first time you go on a date you don't find each other funny, there's a fundamental problem.