... life is broken down into these stages: you're born and you don't know how anything works; gradually you find out how everything works; technology evolves and slowly there are a few things you can't work; at the end, you don't know how anything works.

I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch, you look great." Mitch: "Thanks." On the other side: "Ruth, you look great." Ruth: "I do? Must be the lighting."

There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.

I have a hold limit that I've set for myself. I hold until I start to imagine myself killing the person on the other end. Then I hang up and regroup.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.