My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor, I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours, free Retin-A.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.