My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.

Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me.

Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

Commitment is different in males and females. In females it is a desire to get married and raise a family. In males it means not picking up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.