I'm going to start water skiing someday...as soon as I can separate it from being dragged by a boat.

I'm not sure if my husband is going to be there when I actually have the baby. He said the only way he's going to be in the room when there's a delivery is if there's a pizza involved.

I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.

My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.

I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.

I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.