Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?

There is a woman who swam around Manhattan, and I asked her, why? She said, it hadn't ever been done before. Well, she didn't have to do that. If she wanted to something no one had ever done before, all she had to do was vacuum my apartment.

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?

All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.