Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor, I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours, free Retin-A.

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.