I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.

Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.

I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.