I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.

Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.

All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.

It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.