My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him

Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.

Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.