My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.

I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.

Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."

If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.