My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.

Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.