My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.

There is a woman who swam around Manhattan, and I asked her, why? She said, it hadn't ever been done before. Well, she didn't have to do that. If she wanted to something no one had ever done before, all she had to do was vacuum my apartment.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

My Vegas act is how I make my money.

I worry about Las Vegas schools. I hear in math, they only teach them to count to 21.