Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.

I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor, I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours, free Retin-A.