I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
Commitment is different in males and females. In females it is a desire to get married and raise a family. In males it means not picking up other women while out with one's girlfriend.
I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
When men break up they want to remain friends. Why? Why can't they just get lost?