You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

Eye contact is a method utilised by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Many women find it difficult to look a man directly in the eyes, not because of shyness, but because a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

I'm going to start water skiing someday...as soon as I can separate it from being dragged by a boat.

I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.