I always fancied myself more of an actor than a comedian before I realized that only assholes make that kind of distinction.

My job was basically to look at a good friend completely naked and rub lotion on her back. I was naked too, but I got to put a towel on almost immediately. So I was like, "Well, this is going to be embarrassing, but it's also going to be kinda awesome."

It started off for me as just wanting to be an actor and sort of resenting in a weird way being expected to write as well as be a comedian and an improviser. And then you think about it for a minute, and I smartened up and realized that the only way to sustain a career is to generate your own material. Or to be in control of your career as best you can. And in allowing yourself to do that it opens up a whole new world of possibilities. And then you're like "Oh, producing is a thing."

I've got like a week and a half left, all bets are off.

I want to manufacture a feud.

Anything would deserve a sequel if the right elements are there.

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.