I think your ambition for something changes as you go.

I don't think of marriage as the drudge work that a lot of sitcoms and movies might have shown it to be, I think it's more deadly murderous rage, unadulterated passion, soul-crushing purgatorial dread... It's more interesting.

In high school, I definitely fancied myself an intense guy, which is so lame.

The danger for a comedian on Twitter is the same danger that any civilian faces: sometimes you gotta put that phone down and go live your life. When you're on Twitter, you're not living, and if you're not living, you're not taking in stimuli with which you can create new material.

I no longer believe in freedom of speech.

But I also know in standup, there's nowhere to hide. You get on stage and you deliver, or you are eviscerated and you are thrown into a pile of bodies at the bottom of a mountain.

People who concern themselves with the rights of other adults who engage in consensual acts involving sex, love, and/or eating croissants together are damaged and in pain.