You're so very good at that. The temper, the scowl. You must drink shots of testosterone in your morning coffee.
Rob ThurmanWhat're you still doing up? You know all good little ninjas should be in bed, visions of homicidal sugarplums dancing in their heads.
Rob ThurmanI raised another shot. "That sound you hear is the heads of moral conservatives spontaneously exploding in the distance.
Rob ThurmanPooh hater,' I muttered under my breath. 'Winnie-the-Pooh was not a koala--why am I even arguing about this with you?
Rob ThurmanAll I cared was that she had never lied. She was honest in a world just the opposite, and a cool oasis in my life. She was who she said she was, and everything Sophia, my mother, the pathologically manipulative liar, had never been.
Rob ThurmanWhen life gives you lemons. . . You might as well shove 'em where the sun don't shine, because you sure as hell aren't ever going to see any lemonade.
Rob ThurmanPick up your clothes. I am not your maid. How do I know this? A maid cannot kill you with a tube sock. I can.
Rob ThurmanLeandros's favorite place had turned out not to be vegetarian, but vegan, which was for people who preferred their suicide slow.
Rob ThurmanFall leaves are brilliant with gold and red. You can cup them in your hand and wonder at them, be amazed at their uniqueness and glory. But eventually they are gone, brown, crumbling, scattered on the wind. But the tree remains. The tree is what is important. The tree lives on. That was a difficult knowledge to bear, and an even more difficult life to live. Of course, being the leaf wasn't exactly desirable either.
Rob ThurmanThere are a lot of truths in this world. When it rains it pours. It's always darkest before the dawn. He who smelt it dealt it.
Rob ThurmanWhy is it always the world? Why is it never just half a block? Or Jersey? You know, something we could live without?
Rob ThurmanAs I stood, I took in a last breath of spring-scented air, listened to the birdsong, and then saw a member of wildlife the conservationists hadn't planned on reviving in this place. A perv in a white shirt and polyester pants. A standard hide-in-the-bushes-and-whack-it perv. Fat and balding, it was as appealing as watching a giant marshmallow go at it.
Rob ThurmanNiko caught my hand and slapped it lightly down on the bar. โPistol whipping elderly women isnโt precisely our mission statement, Cal.โ I hadnโt been going to pistol-whip her. Yell at her a little more, then pick her up and toss her out into the street. Some risk of a broken hip there, but that wasnโt pistol-whippingโฆ unless she tried to come back in.
Rob ThurmanIt is now. It is always now. Now is good. Now could be the best. My name is Catcher. My name was Catcher. My name...my name... I am... I am lost, I am found and then I am free and I am happy. When I jump over that edge, someone leaps with me, shoulder to shoulder. I smell kinship on him. Kinship is all. I'm not alone. Never alone. I land, earth below me, moon above. I am wolf. We are pack. And that is all I need.
Rob ThurmanI am your brother. I was supposed to be your brother before either of us was born. Karmic debt. It appears I was Vlad the Impaler or Genghis Khan in a past life.
Rob ThurmanAt least that's what his note said, along with a scathing reminder that dishes didn't wash themselves and the fungus in the bathroom was one day away from evolving into sentient life. I folded the note into an airplane and sailed it across the room. It ended up perched jauntily on top of the ancient television. It looked good there and I left it as a tribute to freedom-loving fungi everywhere.
Rob ThurmanEvery inner touch, every one of its fingerprints on my brain, burned like acid. It shredded the walls of my soul like tissue paper, it clawed its way into my very center, I couldnโt tell anymore where it began and I ended. It poured into me like a river into the sea, mixing, melding, until we were one. One. For better or worse. Until death do us part.
Rob ThurmanI have people in my life, of course. Some write; some don't. Some read; some don't. Some stare vacantly into space when I talk the geeky talk and walk the geeky walk, but they make killer chocolate chip pancakes and so all is forgiven.
Rob ThurmanMost kids don't believe in fairy tales very long. Once they hit six or seven they put away "Cinderella" and her shoe fetish, "The Three Little Pigs" with their violation of building codes, "Miss Muffet" and her wellโshaped tuffetโall forgotten or discounted.And maybe that's the way it has to be. To survive in the world, you have to give up the fantasies, the makeโbelieve.
Rob Thurman