Learn to say No—and to be rude about it when necessary. Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you.

Hate always sells well, but for repeat trade and the long pull happiness is sounder merchandise.

Humoring them costs nothing and adds to happiness in a world in which happiness is always in short supply.

I have spent too much of my life opening doors for cats—I once calculated that, since the dawn of civilization, nine hundred and seventy-eight man-centuries have been used up that way. I could show you figures.

That old saw about the early bird just proves that the worm should have stayed in bed.

Library Science is the key to all science, just as mathematics is its language - and civilization will rise or fall, depending on how well librarians do their jobs.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.