I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life whichdoes not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest.

The wise man thinks once before he speaks twice.

Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.

One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.

What is to be done with people who can't read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?... Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way.