I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.

All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.

There is probably no moment more appalling than that in which the tongue comes suddenly upon the ragged edge of a space from which the old familiar filling has disappeared.

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.

There are two ways to travel, first class or with children.