Sometimes I wonder — if I were drop-dead handsome, and every woman I met actually dropped dead, would I ever get tired of it?

Looking back on a happy life, one realizes that one was not happy all the time.

Sometimes love needs a rest from caring, and so bears for an intolerable few hours the guilt of not caring.

I’ve concluded, after many years, that my mind works by process of elimination. Problem is, it hasn’t eliminated anything yet.

To stretch the truth is to tell a lie.

Optimist: someone who isn't sure whether life is a tragedy or a comedy but is tickled silly just to be in the play.

Nothing in life means anything unless someone cares, and the whole trick is to keep being that someone.