If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

Did you ever get to wondering if taxation without representation might have been cheaper?

I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.