If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it; but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.

My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.

Individuality' is the key to success.

I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!