Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.

Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.

For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.