Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.

All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it; but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.

I feel that if God had really wanted us to have enough oil, he would never have given us a Department of Energy.

I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.