It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.

The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world