My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.

I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.

It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.

If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.

Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.

I value people with a conscience. It's like a beeper from God.